Senior center stages hilarious ‘The Not-So-Newlywed Game’

Joyce Duncan, at center, reveals her answer to husband Curt Duncan during the “The Not-So-Newlywed Game” as Vickie Parker moderates. Contestants looking on are Don Rice, at left, and Pat Ortman, at right. RECORD PHOTOS/GREGG L. PARKER

MADISON – Madison Senior Center’s auditorium resembled a television-recording studio when members staged “The Not-So-Newlywed Game.”

Four couples agreed to re-create their own version of the classic game show, “The Newlywed Game,” on Feb. 12 to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Center director Vickie Parker substituted for show host Bob Eubanks. Activities coordinator Joy Edwards was scorekeeper.

Contestants were Carroll and Shirley Hale, Couple 1; Don and Birdie Rice, Couple 2; Curt and Joyce Duncan, Couple 3; and Ron and Pat Ortman, Couple 4.

The Duncans have been married for 60 years; the Rices close behind at 59 years; the Hales, 35 years; and the Ortmans, 28 years.

The wives left the auditorium for the husbands to answer questions, such as “Who does your wife talk to on the phone the most?” and “What’s your wife’s shoe size?” For shoe size, the men gave modest answers with no size larger than 6.

Parker then asked, “If your wife could send you to a ‘body’ repair shop, what part of your body would she have repaired?” “My big belly” and “brain replacement” were two responses, while one husband thought the question concerned automobile repair.

Next, the wives had their turn as the husbands exited. To “What is your spouse’s most irritating habit?,” the wives said “Selective hearing,” “Snoring” “Always late” and “Falling asleep.”

Wives then considered what possession they would save if a meteor was on collision course with their house … and she had already saved her husband, pet and photos. “Guns” was the most popular answer, followed closely by “Bible.”

If they get a new dog, what breed would it be? The wives said a black Labrador, Pomeranian, Bichon Frise, except for one defiant, “No Dog!”

“If you were going to buy a brand new car, and money was no object, what car would you buy?” Parker asked. “Toyota” and “Jeep” were their conservative choices.

The game ended in a tie between the Hales and Ortmans. All couples received a Valentine’s stuffed bear, balloons and gift cards.